OB(aby) Nurse

Patient Experience

2011-02-18T15:05:00.004-05:00

I am on my unit's "Patient Experience Team." This is a group that gets together monthly to discuss Press-Ganey results and the overall feel of our unit. We are attempting to increase our patients' satisfaction in regards to our care, the unit atmosphere, and the overall experience during their stay. It is hard to admit but our scores on the Press Ganey surveys were terrible. Especially in the courtesy of the nurses category.

We have been busy working on improving these issues but we are only making tiny improvements. I really hope that we can make a difference in the way the patients' view their experiences. I don't want my patients to see the addition of a little one to their family as a bad experience.

Wednesday's Words

2011-02-16T15:28:00.000-05:00

I have decided that every Wednesday I will post something interesting or vulgar or funny that a patient or family member has said to me.

Baby daddy: "When are they going to cut the extra skin off his dick?"

Me: "I'll ask your doctor."

Staffing

2011-02-11T14:24:00.004-05:00

Let's talk staffing for my unit. We are trying to become "Baby Friendly" which overall means more emphasis on the mother-baby couplet as opposed to them as individuals. I love the concept but it has been very hard to stick to this goal. When I first started working nights we averaged 4-5 couplets per nurse. Then, when the baby friendly movement came along, we went to 3-4 which worked out great for bonding and breastfeeding support.

A few weeks ago, one of our RNs transferred to another unit and another RN from nights transferred to days. This was a hit on our staffing and of course right at this time, our census began being out of control. Being full every night is great but also hard because our ratios are higher. Then, one RN quit! Another punch to the faces of the night nurses. Lastly, one last night nurse was offered a day position. Through all of this, the managers have only hired one new nurse and she will be on orientation for a while.

It is so hard to provide the care that is necessary, especially for the new parents. They need support and education which is next to impossible to provide when you have 5 other couplets to care for.

Recently I cared for a mother who had to take her baby off life support due to multiple anomalies and it was so emotionally draining to give her the attention and support that she needed during this horrible time but even more draining to know that I had many other patients that needed me also.

Speaking of neonatal death... well, I have so many thoughts that it will need to be another post.

Energy

2011-01-25T10:17:00.002-05:00

I really wish I had more energy to blog. Well, I wish I had more energy to do anything! I spend most of my days off resting and doing housework and rarely going out. Working 3 nights a week is draining but to be honest, the money is worth it.

Work had been really slow at the end of the summer and early fall but it definitely picked up throughout the holidays and even now its still been really busy. I love being busy, it helps pass the time. Have had some great families lately and some wonderful stories. I love caring for first time parents. I love seeing the joy in their eyes and also the fear. Sometimes it makes me want a baby. Eek! In a few years.

Speaking of, the wedding is 7 months away! We have so many things done but a lot left to do. We have started sending out our save the date magnets which are quite adorable if I do say so myself. Our guest list is ever expanding and is up to 210 right now. We have a DJ, a photographer, a venue and I also booked my hair and makeup stylist. Oh and I booked a block of rooms for our guests at a hotel by the shore. It is coming so fast but I was thinking that after it is over, nothing will really be different. Matt and I will come home and live life like we have been living except with new rings on our fingers. I am really happy with that though. Just solidifying our lives together.

I have nothing else to report at this time. I am going to work out and then go get a manicure and a pedicure. Then working three nights in a row starting night. I really hope I can get the energy to blog more because I follow so many blogs that I feel I should contribute!

2010-12-12T17:28:00.001-05:00

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.
Click here to view photos

7 Months Later...

2010-09-17T16:34:00.005-04:00

Really? It has been 7 months since I posted! Holy Crap! I honestly log onto to Blogger almost every day and read posts but never post myself. I feel like I have no time! Even now, I know that my laundry is done and waiting to be folded, and I need to start dinner, and tons more stuff. But, that's life, and the laundry can wait.

I just started following a new blog, one of my roommates from college, so I figured that maybe she would follow my blog! No one else reads this though, so who knows if she actually will... Hi Justine if you see this :)

Life updates:

House: We closed on our house on April 23rd and have been living in the house since the beginning of June. We pretty much lived at Home Depot for the first 3 months. We have already done tons of work including designing and building a laundry room, completely gutting the master bedroom and refinishing it, new windows in kitchen and master bedroom (rest of windows to be completed as we work our way through the house), lots of painting, refinishing of wood floors, new doors in the whole house, and lots of yard work.

This house is tons of work and we were not expecting all of it! We had a housewarming party in August and everyone was really impressed with everything we have done so far, especially our realtor! He was blown away!

We were so thankful for all of the gifts that we received at the party too, especially the Home Depot gift cards. About 2 weeks after the house warming party, our water heater, which had been slowly leaking, decided it wanted to partially flood our basement. So, thanks to all of our loving family and friends, we were able to go right to HD and get a brand new one!

It is sad how excited I got about the new water heater.

Relationship: BIG NEWS... Matt proposed in July! We are getting married in August 2011! I knew it was coming soon, and actually was pretty sure it was going to happen on our vacation to Toronto, but it was wonderful either way. He picked out my ring all by himself and we are so excited to start this portion of our lives! Wedding planning is hard though! We already have a reception location, a photographer, oh and being the shopaholic that I am, I already have my dress ;)

Jacoby: My baby dog is 15 months old! He is such a good boy. He is so smart and so snuggly. He weighs 75 pounds and loves to be held... He and Gracie are the best of friends. They are so funny together. He loves his new fenced in yard and the views that he has from it. He goes to day care 2-3 times and week and has tons of puppy friends that he hangs out with.

Job: Okay, here is where I could talk for days. Still working 36 hour nights. I actually have gotten into the groove of working nights and am no longer scaring my self by falling asleep at the wheel. Yes, it has happened, No, I didn't crash, and no one was hurt but it is so terrifying. I love the group of girls who I work with. We work so well together and can pull together in times of need.

Have had some amazing patients and some terrible patients. Have had horrible outcomes and miracles. Have made friends with patients, people who I know I will keep in contact with for a long time. I have learned so much in the last 11 months working at the hospital and even more in the 7 months that I have been on my own and working nights. I feel like I have so much responsibility and love almost every moment of my job. I know that we as nurses make such an impact on our patients, especially in this special time in their lives.

I can't believe it has been almost a year already. It is so shocking to realize how much time has past and that I've been an RN for 14 months!

That is all for now. Hopefully I will get in the groove of posting more and posting some HIPPA-friendly patient stories.

Life gets in the way of life.

2010-03-26T12:10:00.003-04:00

Ever notice that your life gets in the way of your life? What I mean is, what is actually going on in your life gets in the way of what you want to do in your life.

It has been over a month since I have posted. Yet again, I have too much time but no time. Here are a few quick points about what is going on.

Job: Working nights is reeking havock on my life. I feel exhausted all of the time and sleep quite a bit. I actually am feeling quite depressed too. I know it has something to do with rarely seeing the sun and being so tired but I have been pretty miserable for the last few weeks. I was feeling pretty nauseated for a few days also. I heard that was a common symptom of starting working nights. Talking to some of the other nurses helps, as they all went through the same thing. One of them told me it took her over six months to adapt. I think it will be very similar for me. But, that is such a long time!

I am officially off orientation though! I have been on my own for about 2 weeks! It is nerve wracking and exhausting I like it!

House: The house situation is ridiculous. We are still under contract for our new house but the seller is being a jerk. His agent called our agent last week asking if we wanted to break our contract because he "didn't want to move any more." Matt and I were devestated and said that no, we absolutely do not want to break the contract. Now, our loan is committed and we are basically set to close. However, earlier this week, our agent got an email from the seller's agent stating that she had "good news! the seller found a place to live but couldn't move in until April 24th." We told them that the best we could do was April 23rd due to schedules. We had rearranged our schedules to accomodate closing on the 16th. Hopefully things will work out.

Family: My grandmother is doing horribly. She was admitted to the hospital at the end of February for an exacerbation of COPD and was discharged to a short term rehab facility to get stronger. PT at this facility was amazing. They actually had her walking. Everything was going great until one morning we got a phone call from the charge nurse at the facility that my grandmother had fallen face first out of her wheelchair onto the floor and that she was being transferred to the hospital. She ended up rupturing her eye ball due to a previous eye surgery and actually lost the sight in her right eye. She also broke her ankle. She had to have her eye removed and is healing from that. My mom is trying to get her moved home when she heals from the surgery so that nothing else bad can happen.

Dogs: Jacoby is a beast. I love the dog to death but he just won't stop growing. We weighed him a few days ago and he is 67 pounds. He is so good though. He knows all of his commands and is a huge snuggler. His main issue is chewing things that he should have. We are working on it though.

That is the summary of what is going on right now. I bet the next time I blog will be a while from now but I will try to get on here again!

Our New Home

2010-02-24T23:28:00.002-05:00

:)

We are closing on our house on April 16th! We got the house we loved and at a great price. We also got the seller to fix quite a few things prior to closing. We are ecstatic! I have been shopping and we have everything we could ever need for the kitchen. We also bought ourselves a kitchen table.

When we move, there are a few things that I want to do. Both bathrooms need a lot of work and since we aren't desperate to move, I was thinking that we could do at least one before we move in. I already have the plans and even bought shower curtains.

Work is going really well. I finished orienting with antepartum patients and returned to a mother-baby assignment. A lot of our antepartum patients were long-term. During my orientation, we were able to send one home on bedrest at 32 weeks. Two others delivered though. One at 33 weeks and one at 24 weeks. They both have a long road ahead of them.

Then, last Sunday night I moved to nights! I was absolutely terrified of staying up all night and it was hard. I slept for a few hours before I went in but was still dragging. 5-6:30am was the hardest time. I was nodding off and tried walking the halls but that didn't work out. I was still falling asleep. I got a small second wind when I saw the day shift staff walk onto the floor. I also did pretty well driving home until I was about 2 streets away from home.

I am working another night shift tomorrow and the following night too. This is my first time doing two nights in a row so we will see how that goes!

Another week of house hunting

2010-01-31T20:39:00.002-05:00

Shortly after I posted the last time, we went and saw a free standing condo that was really nice but $400 a month condo fees! That is ridiculous and wasn't worth the price. So, we went back to the realtor's office and put an offer on the first house that we loved.

We offered $40,000 below the asking price of the house because 1) it was overpriced, and 2) needed a lot of work. We found out after making our offer that there was another offer on the table and that the sellers wanted us to offer our best and final offer. So, we upped our offer by $15,000 and waited. The following day we found out that they accepted the other offer. It sounds disappointing but we honestly weren't because whoever put in the other offer is overpaying and it is there loss not ours.

So, we went back out house hunting on Saturday. We finally were able to see a house that we couldn't see on two different occasions. The house does not have a for sale sign out front and one day we saw that there was an open house. So, we drove there and didn't see the sign so were very confused. The second time we wanted to see it, the seller wasn't able to allow us in to show the house. We weren't sure why.

Well, yesterday we finally able to go see the house and loved it! It needs a new roof and new windows but we would be willing to do those things. SO! We put in an offer! We are definitely more excited about this house but not getting our hopes up because of the previous offer.

Update: house hunting

2010-01-23T19:34:00.002-05:00

In the last week, we have seen "the house" 3 times. We brought our parents to it on Wednesday and actually found some major flaws that Matt and I didn't noticed the previous visit. Those flaws include old windows and a possible drainage issue in the backyard.

The house is definitely still on our list. Well, actually there aren't really any other houses on our list. But, we are going to see one more house tomorrow evening which will help solidify our decision. We were about to make a low offer but decided to check out other things first.

We are definitely really excited about the prospect of buying a house and our parents have started liking the idea. My mom all of a sudden has been helping me find things that I might need: rugs, curtains, sheets.

Hopefully we can go see the newer house tomorrow and can decide what to do next!

House hunting!

2010-01-17T20:22:00.004-05:00

Matt and I have talked about moving in together for a few months. Actually, its been an ongoing conversation but more emphasis has been put on the topic in recent weeks. Last week, we met with a realtor (who happens to be my second cousin) and also with a mortgage broker. We have been pre-pre-approved for a mortgage. As in, we know what we can afford and we just need to get some paperwork to the mortgage broker and then we will be officially pre-approved.

We have gone to a few open houses and have started to go see houses with my cousin. We have seen approximately 10 houses so far. Well, today we went out and fell in love with one of the homes that we saw! It is honestly exactly what we are looking for. 3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, and an attached 2 car garage. Plus, it has a front porch and a back porch, a cute backyard and is completely remodeled on the inside! It also has a finished basement. It is perfect.

I hope that this is the house for us, it is listed at the top of our price range but might be a little high for the house so we are hoping we can talk them down a little bit. Hopefully we can go back to the house with our parents this week and show it to them.

We definitely have had a little resistance from our parents. I am my mom's only child and she doesn't want me to leave her. But, this house is so loud all the time, especially with my 88 year old grandmother living here also. I am nervous about going to nights at work and how I am going to be able to sleep during the day. So, moving would be helpful. Also, Jacoby is growing out of control so he needs his own space where he won't bother my family.

Keep us in your thoughts that this works out for us!

New Grad Residency Week 12

2010-01-07T10:12:00.004-05:00

So clearly I have been busy. I haven't posted in weeks! I honestly have been working my butt off and have been absolutely exhausted. I am just about 12 weeks into my new graduate residency program and am at the point where I am working on my own but still have a preceptor when I need her.

Something disappointing happened this week in relation to the residency program. The other new grad who started on my floor with me has quit. She had a very long commute and has a small daughter who she was having a hard time being away from. However, I was really upset that she just up and left with no notice. It sucks that they won't fill her position and that all those new grads who are still looking for a job are screwed.

I have been loving working on the floor. I have finished my Mother-Baby weeks and my nursery week. Next week I will be moving into antepartum patients for a few weeks. They can be more complicated but also less because they kind of just hang out all day.

I worked 8 out of the last 9 days. It was so draining! So, I am currently still sitting in bed relaxing and enjoying my two days off :)

Catie and Woody's NYE Wedding

2010-01-07T10:07:00.003-05:00

Congratulations to our friends Catie and Woody! They were married on New Year's Eve in a beautiful ceremony and Matt was one of the groomsmen. My camera decided it wanted to suck royally so almost everyone of my pictures from the ceremony is blurry. It was a great night and we had tons of fun. Here are some pictures from the night:Us with the bride and groom

Us attempting to look good.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Cruise

2009-12-28T08:58:00.005-05:00

Matt and I went on a cruise from December 21st-26th. It left from Miami and was supposed to stop at Nassau, Coco Cay, and Key West, before returning to Miami. We flew down to Miami on Monday morning and were met at the airport by Matt's sister, Stacy, and her boyfriend, Jereme. Matt's parents and grandmother met us at the ship later that day.

Our trip was a good one. We spent our first day at Nassau and although it was very tourist-y, it was a nice place. We had lunch at Senor Frogs which is a hilarious restaurant where it basically is a constant party.
The only thing that wasn't great about the trip was the weather. Now, I can't say it was cold, because it was 30 in CT. But, it was between 65 and 70 in the Bahamas, which is nice but it was also ridiculously windy and it rained for a bit.
After we spent the day at the Bahamas, we went back to the ship and got ready for our "formal dinner." We went all out and had a wonderful time! Our waiter was amazing and hilarious.
We were unable to get off the ship to go to Coco Cay due to the intense winds. We didn't pull into a port, mostly because they don't have any at Coco Cay. The tether boats were flopping around in the ocean, so we didn't go. So, we had to spent that entire day on the ship which got to be quite boring. We drank quite a bit, gambled a bit, and drank some more. I did end up feeling sea sick by the end of the night and I went to bed feeling horrible. Ick, luckily, I felt fine for the rest of the trip.

The following day we went to Key West which was also a lot of fun. We basically just walked around and shopped a bit. When we came back to the ship, it was Christmas Eve! So, we opened presents :)

Christmas Day was spent on the ship again and we hung around again. It was another relatively boring day but just hanging around with Matt's family was fun.

I'm glad to be home and I did miss my family on Christmas but overall it was a great time and I would love to cruise again! Merry Christmas!

4 sets of twins

2009-12-13T21:23:00.002-05:00

I finally have a day off tomorrow. I am beyond exhausted. I feel like all I do is go to work and sleep. And honestly, that is really all I have been doing. I am really irritable too. I can't wait for vacation! Only 8 more days!

I have a cute story! My floor/hospital made the news a few nights ago. During a 10 hour time period, 4 sets of twins were delivered! One set was full term vaginal delivery twins! Amazing! And, there was a set of twins earlier in the week. It was a busy few days on the floor, we had no cribs! We were forced to use the DR metal cribs once we ran out of wooden cribs.

New bedding

2009-12-04T21:06:00.002-05:00

I have been looking for new bedding for a long long time. I previously had a blue quilt that was so dirty from the dogs. I subscribe to Bedding Envy and constantly look at all of the department stores for bedding that I like.

Well, I have had this one in mind for months but it was $307! And, it only had a comforter and 2 pillow shams. I was watching it on amazon.com for a while and it was averaging about $215. The other night, it went down to $179! So, I bought it!

Today I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought some sheets to go with it. Here is the final product :)

Racism

2009-12-03T21:19:00.003-05:00

The first day of orientation the facilitator asked us if we noticed other people's differences: color, size, gender, etc. Many people said "No, I am color blind" and other sayings like that. I said, yes I do notice them but it doesn't make much difference to me. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't think certain things about certain types of people but I don't immediately make judgments. I let the person show themselves to me and then make my determination.

Anyway, the whole purpose of this post is regarding something that the New Graduate Nurse Residency Coordinator said this afternoon. We were having what we call "Tales from the Bedside" and were discussing different things that we have experienced. We started talking about psychosocial issues on the different units and I mentioned the 16 year old who was on her 4th pregnancy. The coordinator immediately asked if the patient was black. I stumbled on my words for a moment and told her that in fact, NO, the patient wasn't black.

I couldn't believe that she just said that out loud to us. I mean, I do work in a large city with a huge minority population, but that was just rude, judgmental, and downright racist.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-02T16:21:00.003-05:00

Newborn babies

2009-12-01T18:28:00.004-05:00

The weeks are just flying by! I can't believe that I have been out of school for almost 7 months! Been an RN for 4 months and had a job for 1.5 months.

Today I spent my last day in the nursery. I spent a total of 5 days in the nursery as a part of orientation. I can go back again later before orientation ends if I feel I need it. It was a fun few days. We had up to 8 babies each shift and tons of circumcisions, bilirubin levels to draw, and other issues with babies to work with. It is definitely not an easy job like most people think. However, it definitely fun when you get down time and can feed and hold babies.

I have perfected diaper changes, swaddling, and feeding babies. I need to continue to work on drawing blood, it is not an easy task, and of course you feel bad doing it.

I am back on the floor on Saturday and will be back to working with mother-baby couplets. Eventually I will move on to working with antepartum patients, or "waiting moms" as they call them on the unit. I am nervous about working with them because the risks are higher and there is a lot more unknown.

N95 Respirators

2009-11-23T19:36:00.002-05:00

We recently had a staff meeting on my floor and were told we all had to be fit tested for N95 respirator masks which are used to TB and possibly the flu if necessary. So, this morning, I filled out the form and went to go be tested.

Well, the directions weren't clear and I was supposed to fax the form to occupational health first and receive a confirmation back before going. One of the other nurses found the occupational health fax number by calling the hospital operator.

After going down to the testing area, I was told to go back and wait for my confirmation. Well, it never came and I asked another nurse if she knew the fax number. She told me a different number! So, I called the operator and asked if she knew where the first number we were told actually went to. She looked it up and told me it was the fax to infectious disease. I then called infectious disease and asked if she had received a fax. Well, turns out that the fax number didn't belong to them either!

I began getting upset and worried because on the form was my name, address, DOB, and social security number! It was out there in the world and I didn't know where it was! So, I called the operator back and asked if she would find out the correct location of the fax machine. She then told me that it was the main fax machine at the psychiatric hospital that is associated with our hospital. So, I called them and figures... it wasn't there either.

At this point I wasn't even sure what to do. I was overwhelmed and scared that my identity was going to be stolen! I decided to call the operator one last time. This time it was a different woman and she was sweet and gave me one last place to try... the other office for occupational health.

After waiting on hold for almost 10 minutes, I got through to the other office of occupational health and the secretary helped me immensely. He checked the fax machine and found our paperwork! He said he would shred it immediately! I was so thankful.

I am now mad at the operators and will most likely not ask them for a phone number again. I can't believe how many wrong locations they told me. I mean, I have never been in their office but how hard could it be to locate the fax machine with that specific number? It isn't even that it was hard, but they kept giving me random locations to call!

Anyway, today was stressful. I am glad my info is safe.

My Patients

2009-11-22T20:15:00.002-05:00

I feel like I have been starting every post with how tired I am. But seriously, I have never been this tired... ever. I worked M/Tu/Th/Fri last week and this week I am on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. That is just a ridiculous schedule.

Here is a quick list of things that I don't like seeing regarding my patients. (WARNING: This may be judgemental).
1) 16 year olds who are pregnant for the 4th time.
2) Moms with newly diagnosed cancers
3) FOBs who aren't around because they are dead.
4) FOBs who aren't around because they are in jail.
5) Antepartum patients who don't seem to care about the health of their baby or babies.

It is been an interesting few weeks. I am still loving every moment and learning tons. There are just some patient situations that shock you.

Tomorrow I will start my nursery training and will take a break from mother/baby. I am really excited about this. I seriously want to spend all day holding and feeding babies :)

Preceptors.

2009-11-16T20:31:00.003-05:00

The last few days have been spent on the unit just doing procedures and taking on more and more patients. I am now taking care of approximately 2 mother/baby couplets. Sometimes more, sometimes less depending on my preceptor.

Speaking of preceptors... I love the two preceptors that are assigned to me. However, there have been two different occasions where they were unavailable and I was placed with someone else. The first time that this happened, my preceptor wasn't helpful at all and basically left me on my own. I was terrified, especially giving medications on the bar coding system. It doesn't always work correctly and that makes me nervous.

The second time I was with a different preceptor was today and I felt like she was looking down on me. It was a little nerve wracking. Then, of course, with my luck and my nerves, I dropped a narcotic and it had to be wasted. I felt so dumb.

Other than those things, I am loving every minute on the floor!

H1N1 Shot

2009-11-13T13:14:00.001-05:00

I finally got my H1N1 vaccine. I really wanted the intranasal vaccine but because I have asthma, they wouldn't allow me to get it. I was about to leave but quickly decided just to let the nurse give me the shot.

It hurts like a b*tch! It was horrible going in but now it feels even worse! My whole arm feels dead... blah.

But, I am glad I got it. I get every sickness that goes around so hopefully I won't get this one!

Firsts

2009-11-11T19:39:00.003-05:00

I had a couple of firsts today! I spent the day on the unit today and was able to care for one of my own patients! According to the graduate nurse residency program, I should be up to 2-3 but I am a week behind because of the two days that I spent in the library doing educational stuff.

I took complete care of one mother/baby couplet along with helping my preceptor with two other patients. My patient had delivered a little less than 24 hours prior, so once she turned 24 hours, I was able to do all kinds of things for her baby. I drew my first PKU/CF from the baby along with testing the transcutaneous bilirubin and giving the hepatitis B vaccine. These are all completely routine things that I'm sure I will be so completely used to doing. But, this was my first time!

I am spending tomorrow and Saturday on the unit. Hopefully more fun things will happen!

Parking Ticket

2009-11-10T21:07:00.002-05:00

I got my first parking ticket last week. I was absolutely devastated and furious at the same time. I have never done anything wrong driving wise in my life. I consider myself a great driver and always try to follow the rules.

I had no idea that I wasn't supposed to park on this street. I didn't see any signs. If I had, I wouldn't have parked there. I was going out to a bar with some friends from work and there wasn't a parking lot for this bar so all 6 of us parked on the street. Not one person noticed a sign...

I was really thinking about fighting it. It is a $45 ticket!! That is a lot of money. But, no one else is going to fight it so I wouldn't get anywhere. I did go back to that street and I found a sign behind a tree. Whatever though, I'm sure fighting it wouldn't work and then I would have points on my license.

Blah.

Moms and Babies

2009-11-06T13:12:00.004-05:00

I have been so exhausted which is why I haven't posted in a while. I really wanted to though. I finally got on the floor! I worked 12 hours on Sunday and Monday and 8 on Thursday. I also spent 8 hours in a classroom on Tuesday.

"Are you sure you are a new grad? You seem like you have been doing this for a long time."

Someone said that to me... it made me feel so good! I felt really confident on the floor. The only things that made me nervous were the computer systems and giving meds with their bar code med charting system. I haven't learned the computer systems complete yet so it scares me that I am going to make a mistake.

Overall, though, I am loving it. I met one of my preceptors and I absolutely love her. She is amazing and is a great teacher. We took care of some great patients together and I learned a lot already. I am so excited to be finally working with moms and babies again!

All of the other staff are wonderful and were really helpful. I feel like I am going to fit in well with them. My other preceptor has been on vacation so I won't meet her for a while.

That is all for now. I have 4 days off which is nice. I don't have plans yet but hope to do something fun. I will be back on the floor next Wednesday. Stories to come :)

Continuing Education

2009-10-31T21:10:00.002-04:00

Another week down. The residency class met three more times this week and on the other two days, the other new grad on my unit and I did some self study on fetal monitoring, postpartum care, newborn care, and neonatal resuscitation. It was a very long and draining week.

While we were studying on our own, the others in the graduate nurse residency program were on their floors. This was depressing for us because we knew that the others were doing something relatively fun and interesting while we sat in the library for hours on end.

Tomorrow is my first day on the unit. I will meet with my preceptor at 7 am and work 12 hours. I hope that I have a patient but I also really just want to be oriented to the unit. I hope it goes well and that I make a good impression.

Living situation

2009-10-26T20:25:00.002-04:00

My last post was vague, but if you know me at all, you know that that post was related to my living situation. I am currently living at home with my mom and my 88 year old relatively immobile grandmother.

I never thought that I would move out right after graduation, nor did I ever think I would want to. I am living here rent free which is amazing. However, once I get paid I will start to give my mom some money to help with the mortgage. I have no debt whatsoever, my parents paid all of my school bills with the assistance of 100% tuition reimbursement from my mom's employer. I don't tell many people this because I feel horrible that they have loans that will cost them $500 a month.

My grandmother isn't doing very well. She has congestive heart failure and other issues. She needs constant monitoring because she is very unsteady on her feet. She has also started speaking almost completely in French. I am picking up French though. I need a lot of help but I have gotten a lot of phrases down.

My grandmother had 10 kids, has 17 grand kids and 27 great-grand kids. One of her sons died in a car accident when he was 16 years old. Otherwise, everyone else is alive and well.

There always people around the house helping my grandmother. My mom rarely leaves the house and even when she is here there are other helpers. During the week she has a nursing aid visit who gets her dressed and clean, then a homemaker comes over and keeps her company and does housework. Every few weeks, my aunts come around and help out too.

It is just too many people around for me. The dog is having a hard time with it too. He gets overwhelmed and gets rambunctious. My grandmother is scared of Jacoby for no reason. It just stresses me out.

I guess the whole point of this post was that I am ready to live on my own. I have a job now so I can start to think about it. I need to save up as much money as I possibly can and I want to buy a house rather than rent. It is basically always on my mind. Hopefully things will work out in my favor, although unlikely, so that I can move out :)

Don't say anything at all

2009-10-25T21:41:00.001-04:00

Do you know when people say "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." ?

I have had such a bad weekend that I don't want to write it all out. I just want to forget.

First week

2009-10-22T21:17:00.002-04:00

For the last four days I have been going non-stop and when I get home I have been crashing. I haven't been to the gym or even made dinner all week.

Our second and third days of orientation were spent in a classroom learning all of the basic things about the hospital. We met with people from the pharmacy, infection control, risk management, and many other departments. Both days were horribly long and relatively boring, as horrible as that sounds. I mean, how interesting can those things be? JCAHO requires that we learn these items so we sat for hourssssss.

A good portion of those two days was learning about benefits! I know I mentioned this before and I know it is harsh but I honestly can't even fathom how much money I will be making. I plan on putting most of it in savings and giving my mother some as "rent" and working on paying her every month since graduation that I have been unemployed.

Another relatively fun thing that I did was meet with all of the other new graduates and our instructor. There are 9 of us. Three guys: B, W, and J who are all going to the ED, and six girls. One girl, L, is going to the oncology unit, another, A, is going to the stroke unit, T and K are going to surgical floors and S and I are going to be on the maternity/newborn unit.

I really like everyone and I feel like we are a great group together. We are all so different though! Some have master's degrees, some have bachelor's degrees, and the others have associate's degrees. Our ages range from 22(me) to about 40! Between all of them there are 8 kids!

Today was a little different from the last few days. We spent the whole day on the computer. We were supposed to be learning the charting system. However, it was such a boring task that it was a miserable day. I am a quick learner and I know that I will learn the system well when I get to use it in actual practice. So, I, along with many others, just skimmed the modules and took the post-tests.

Tomorrow will be another computer day but we will probably get out a little early. I am so thankful for that because I am exhausted!

I got my schedule for the next few weeks and I will be at the hospital M-F next week and 4 days the following week. S and I also got our neonatal resuscitation books that we need to self learn and will eventually have a practical exam with the nurse educator.

That is all for now, I am falling asleep!

Orientation Day 1

2009-10-19T20:36:00.003-04:00

The first day went well! There are about 30 new hires of all different sorts: nurses, doctors, nursing assistants, monitor techs, phlebotomists, and security guards. We spent all day stuck in one room learning about fire safety, occupational health, chemical safety, abuse, mandatory reporting, and many other things.

The hospital is a catholic hospital. I use a lower case "c" because they are open and accepting of other religions and differences. I am Catholic and I was impressed with the openness and the mission and core values of the hospital. Even though I am not a true practicing Catholic and I am completely open and accepting of all lifestyles and religions, I feel like I am going to fit in nicely.

Tomorrow we are going more into patient care and also will be talking about benefits! I can't wait to have dental and health insurance!

Orientation tomorrow!

2009-10-18T16:07:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is the first day of orientation! I am wicked nervous and I don't know what to expect. I mean, I know that I will be sitting in a classroom for hours on end learning all kinds of things that I already know. But, I am nervous about who I will meet, if I will know anyone, and that I will look like a fool.

I have to be there from 7-4:30pm. It is going to be a long day! I also have to get a PPD shot before hand. I don't understand why I need to get a second one but I am just going along with everything they say.

I will try to update this week with how it is going. Wish me luck! I have to go plan my outfits now :)

Doggie Day Care

2009-10-17T22:45:00.002-04:00

I think I mentioned in a previous post that Jacoby was going to start Doggie Day Care. Well, he started yesterday. I dropped him off at 7:30am so that he could be there to meet all of the dogs as they came in. I felt like a parent when I left, I was so nervous for him and worried that he would be scared and lonely. The owner was so wonderful and she told me I could call anytime.

When Jacoby and I went there for an interview, the owner introduced him to four different dogs so she could see how he played and how he reacted. First came a small terrier mix and after a minute or so, they were romping around. Then, a little yorkie came in and Jacoby loved her too. The next dog was a mutt that was a little larger than J. He was a little nervous about this dog because he is rarely around bigger dogs, he only sees small dogs. After the mutt, a large lab came in. Jacoby didn't know what to do but played a little bit with him.

I called the day care around 10am and checked on him. The owner said he was doing very well and was playing with all of the different dogs. Thank God! I was nervous that he was going to playing really rough.

Matt picked him up at 5:15pm and J. was so excited to see him! The owner told Matt that he continued to play all day and napped for a bit in the early afternoon. He didn't eat lunch though, which is odd, but he seemed to do great otherwise!

He will be going back Tuesday and one other day next week. I wish that he could talk and tell me everything that went on all day, either that or I wish I could just watch for a while!

TMI Thursday

2009-10-15T17:08:00.002-04:00

A lot of blogs that I follow do "TMI Thursday" and I felt as though I wanted to play along, at least for this week.

It is a short and sweet tale of this past Sunday night. I felt absolutely fine for most of the evening until about 9pm. I all of a sudden had a horrible wave of nausea and didn't move from my bed. I stayed awake until 1am when I finally threw up. YAY!

...don't lie, you know throwing up makes you feel better...

I guess it is too much information but isn't that interesting.

I threw up a few years ago when Gracie was a puppy and she was right next to me trying to see what was going on. I had to push her out of the way of my puke... okay... that was gross.

Snow: A new addition to Jacoby's life.

2009-10-15T13:54:00.005-04:00

It is October 15 and it is currently snowing outside. That is not normal. This is Connecticut not North Dakota! However, it is Jacoby's first snowfall so I threw him outside to check it out.
Okay, so its not sticking... But, he was a little weirded out. I can't wait for it to actually start snowing because I know he will love it.

The little monster came down with an eye infection last Thursday. I am not completely sure how he got it but I noticed grossness around one eye a few hours after he got groomed... The following day, it still was gross so my mother decided to wipe them with a cloth. She proceeded to wipe both eyes with the same cloth... Guess who now has a double eye infection?

It didn't clear up by Monday so I brought him to the vet and $72 later, he has a diagnosis and some eye drops.

I weighed him when we were at the vet and he weighs 37 pounds! He is a beast. He is 18 weeks old now and the vet estimates him to be over 60 pounds when he is full grown. (The breeder told us 45-50 pounds!) We love him though, we don't mind a beast, we just weren't expecting him to be so big!

He has been doing well in puppy training class. He is very smart, he just has some behavioral issues. Matt and I have been working very hard on getting him to stop biting, jumping, and just overall being high energy. So, I enrolled him into daycare! We went and checked out two places. One was what I expected but the other was above and beyond what we were looking for, and it was cheaper! I am hoping to get him started tomorrow but he definitely will be going next week.

He has to go next week because I start my job on Monday!

The Call

2009-10-05T21:06:00.002-04:00

The hospital called! I got an offer to be a new graduate RN on a maternity/newborn unit!

The nicest guy ever from Human Resources had been corresponding with me since I applied. He interviewed me and took me on a tour of the unit. He also had been keeping me updated with the interview process and was the one who called with the offer!

It is a 36 hour position rotating shifts. I am beyond excited. This is my dream job. I can't believe that not only did I get a job but it is on a unit that I will love.

I went in today to get my pre-employment physical and to sign all kinds of papers. My physical went very well. My eye sight is 20/13! That is even better than 20/20 for those of you not following along. My blood pressure was 112/62. That's pretty darn good too! My weight however... well, we won't even go there. I didn't really freak out at my TB shot either... I consider that a good doctor's visit!

I traveled the hallways of the hospital from occupational health to human resources and signed my offer letter. I can't even fathom how much money I will be making. I know that is a kind of harsh statement, but this is coming from someone who has never made more than $9 a hour. I signed a bunch of other papers and filled out tax forms and then I went and got my picture taken for my badge. Guess what color my badge is? HOT PINK... yesssss!! They are cute... Will match my scrubs.

That is all for now... Orientation starts in 14 days!

Awkward.

2009-09-30T21:37:00.002-04:00

Don't you hate running into people? Especially people that you don't want to run into? Like old friends from high school or college, or friends of friends whose names you remember but they don't remember yours?

Then, the worst part is when they ask "how are you??" and you always answer "I'm good!" when you obviously aren't but don't want them to know that. And you pretend that you are happy to see them and are interested in what is going on in their lives. And then, you know that they go home and on Facebook to see what you are actually up to?

This is one of my worst fears lately. Especially since graduating, because people know I graduated, and will know by looking on Facebook that I don't have a job or anything else relatively good going on in my life right now.

I actually hide from people if I see them in stores or in restaurants. I remember being in the grocery store and seeing someone from high school and ducking into another aisle to hide from her. With my luck though, she ended up seeing us a few aisles later and we had to make awkward small talk.

I honestly don't know the purpose of this post other than the fact that Matt and I are going to the Big E tomorrow and I most likely will see someone that I know.

15 weeks old

2009-09-27T21:13:00.003-04:00

Jacoby is 15 weeks old already! We went to the vet on Wednesday and he weighed in at 31 pounds. I once lost that much weight, and he is freaking heavy, so I guess I should be proud of the weight I had lost.

Anyway, Jacoby is doing really well. He is 99% housebroken, and I only say 99% because if I said 100% he would have an accident. It has been about 2 weeks since he last had an accident. He sleeps completely though the night in his crate. However, he is getting too big for his crate. This evening, Matt and I bid on a soft crate on ebay and we won! So, Jacoby will be getting a new bedroom within the next week.

He plays really hard with my other dog. It makes me worried some times and I wish they would play nice. Someday...

He started puppy kindergarten last week and honestly, I think he will be the star pupil. He is so smart. In his class there is: a teeny tiny yorkie, a shitzu, two terrier mixes, and a boxer mix who is obnoxious.

That is all about him. I think he is going to grow into a huge, lazy, lovable, beast of a dog who I will love forever :)

What if they don't call?

2009-09-27T20:20:00.002-04:00

The start date for the new graduate orientation at the hospital where my only hope for a job is at is October 19. So, the hospital doesn't have much time to let me know either way. I am absolutely terrified of the phone call if they do call, and even more worried about the waiting and waiting for a phone call that might not arrive.

I have no clue what I am going to do if they don't hire me. I have no other options. None of the other hospitals are hiring new grads until next summer. Then, there will be a whole new batch of new grads who are also looking for jobs. Why would any hospital chose me, someone who hasn't done anything related to nursing for over 1 year, vs a brand new graduate who still has nursing knowledge readily available in their brain.

Why does nothing work out in my favor? I should have been flooded with job offers and should have been done with orientation by this time. Why am I the one who can't find a job? I feel like I wasted four years of my life. If I don't get this job, I have no idea what I am going to do.

Boston

2009-09-21T14:20:00.002-04:00

In better news, I went to Boston this weekend to visit a friend from high school who recently got a job there. She lives by the Brigham Circle stop on the green line. It is such a beautiful area. I want to move there...

We had a blast just catching up and visiting with other friends. Surprisingly, I didn't buy anything other than food. I only spent money on the essentials which is good considering I have very little money.
Here is a picture of us before we went out to dinner.

Misery.

2009-09-21T13:50:00.002-04:00

Again it has been a while. I always think about things I want to write about but never get to it. Which doesn't make much sense because I have nothing else to do. Seriously...

According to the title of this post, I am absolutely miserable. Nothing is going right for me. I hate complaining but WTH. Why can't I get things to work out for me? Everyone says "your time will come." I absolutely hate that. Its not fair for someone to have everything that I want, while I have nothing.

I haven't heard anything from the job shadowing I did. I know I have a few more weeks but I am doubtful that anything will come of it. And, if nothing does, I honestly have no other options. I probably will never get a nursing job. People keep saying "you will get one eventually..." But no, that is not true. All of the hospitals are done hiring new graduates and won't hire any more until next summer. So, then its me competing with people who just graduated and have relatively recent information in their heads, while I have been sitting around working at Weight Watchers all year. (Side note: I love working for WW its just not going to be my lifelong career.)

I just want something good to happen for me, whether it be a job, or Jacoby actually being a good dog for once, or finding a place to live. I just want to be happy.

Skittles

2009-09-09T23:02:00.003-04:00

10 years ago, Matt's sister adopted a ring neck parakeet, Skittles. Stacy moved to college 7 years ago and never came back and the bird stayed at his parents house. They had no idea how old the bird was when they got her.

I always called her an evil bird, one time she even drew blood from me while I was trying to fill her food dish. She squawked so loud all of the time.

She had been acting strange for the last few weeks and was very sick for the last few days. Matt just called and told me that Skittles died...

I can't say I won't miss her. It will definitely be different without her. Our worry now is Matt's bird, Spike. They have been together forever. Spike doesn't know life without her.

RIP Skittles.

Wet dog

2009-09-08T16:23:00.005-04:00

It has been quite a while! I can't say that I have been that busy, because I really am not doing much. However, the Tuesday after I last wrote, I got a call from the hospital to set up an second interview.

That interview occurred on Thursday and I met with the director of the whole maternity area, the L+D manager, and the educator for all of the units. I felt wonderful about the interview and after the interview, we set up a shadowing opportunity which I went to today!

I spent the morning and early afternoon with one of the nurses on the postpartum floor at the hospital and just watched all that she did. I enjoyed every minute and was able to talk to the educator before I left and told her what a great experience it was, and that I would be honored to work there. She sounded enthusiastic so I am keeping my hopes up.

The other good part of today was that I got to wear one of my new sets of scrubs! They were so comfy! I can't wait to have a job so I can wear the others, and also go buy more!

In puppy news, we went to the vet right after my last post. Jacoby weighed 20.7 pounds! So, I was almost exactly right! He did so well with the shots and with the vet checking him out. He did have one hilarious moment where he started barking at a photo on the wall of a golden retriever. Even the vet laughed at him.

That was about a week and a half ago and I am pretty sure he now weighs 24 pounds. He is getting really heavy and it is becoming hard to hold him while I step on the scale. We are going to the vet again on Thursday for 1 more shot and I will weigh him then.

A funny pup story: Yesterday Matt and I went up to my dad's house on the lake. Jacoby went over to the water and actually fell in! It sounds horrible but it was absolutely hysterical. He knew immediately how to swim and got himself out. Matt picked him up a few times and put him out in the deeper water and each time he swam back in.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~Ambrose Bierce

Puppies and Unemployment

2009-08-28T13:31:00.002-04:00

Last Friday was supposed to be my last day of work at my summer job. But, due to weather, my coworker moved her camping trip and I stayed to watch the office while she was gone. I guess two extra days of work are better than none.

I did alert my "as needed" job and told them that I would be able to work where ever and whenever. I picked up three meetings as a sub in the next three weeks. I am hoping that they will call and offer me more meetings to work.

I guess having a new puppy goes well with being unemployed. I have been able to spend a lot of time with him over the last few days. We are about to go to the vet and I will update his information. My guess is that he will weigh in at 20.5 pounds. A few days ago he was 19 so who knows. I am looking forward to talking to the vet and learning how to stop his biting. Jacoby is not looking forward to the vet because he has to get shots.

As for the prospect of no longer being unemployed, the hospital never called. I have left messages and sent emails with no responses. I am desperate for a job and this one would be perfect... how come things never work out in my favor!?

The only good part of not having anything to do, is that I can spend a lot of time in the gym. Hopefully that will help me get rid of these extra 14 pounds that I have packed on!

Interview: take 2

2009-08-16T16:48:00.003-04:00

My previous interview had no good results. I heard from a girl that I work with that that hospital called her and others two weeks ago. I never heard anything. I got my hopes up which made me really upset but at the same time, I have a new opportunity.

This past Tuesday evening I received a phone call from the Senior Staffing person at another hospital. She had gotten my resume from a woman on the Board of Directors. I love having connections...

So, I went in on Friday morning and met with her. She is possibly one of the nicest, down to earth people I have ever met. We talked about the new graduate positions that were available and also other random things. It was a preliminary interview and she made it sound like someone else would call me this week to set up a more intense interview.

This job would be absolutely perfect for me. It is a new graduate maternity position. I would be so happy doing that!

My best friend from college came by yesterday for a puppy play date (she has a 15 week old yellow lab) and when the puppies were sleeping we ran down to the local uniform store and bought ourselves cute scrubs. I hope I get this job to pay for all I bought!

And a quick puppy update:
Current weight: 15.6 pounds.
He is definitely growing fast! His head is bigger, he is taller and has definitely filled out. He is still skinny though.
He got sick a few days ago and threw up all of his food. But, I actually think it was due to the fact that he ate and then played really hard right after. He is currently making sounds while sleeping.
He has been a little aggressive while playing but I think that is because that is how Gracie plays. Otherwise, he is doing very well. He hasn't had an accident in a few days, but I know that since I am writing that, he probably will have one soon. He knows how to sit and also is learning how to give his paw. He also is starting to understand his name and has recently figured out stairs!

Jacoby

2009-08-10T14:52:00.002-04:00

Our new goldendoodle's official name: Jacoby
He is so much fun. I am exhausted and he is a lot of work. But, it is so worth it. Matt is absolutely in love with him.

We brought him home on Friday in the morning. We went to the breeder's house around 11 and were hoping to spend some time with her but she had very recently been in a serious car crash and was about to go to a doctor's appointment. That was okay though, we asked all of our questions very quickly and go out of there.

The car ride was interesting. Matt held Jacoby but then he began to cry. So, he put him on the floor by his feet and he calmed down. When we arrived home, we immediately brought him to the potty area and he peed! Since then, he has figured out that that area is the "potty area" and goes there when he needs to.

He has had a few accidents but they were small and corrected quickly. He loves his crate and puts all of his toys in there and sleeps with all of them. He doesn't like it for the first few moments right before bed time, but he calms down quickly. He sleeps well, but does need to go out a few times during the night because he is only 9 weeks old.

He gets along well with everyone and absolutely loves to play. Gracie is slowly getting used to him being around and actually has played with him a few times. Hopefully they will be friends soon.

Jacoby is also growing out of control. He weighed 8.6 pounds the week before he came home. I weighed him yesterday and he was 13.6 pounds! He is already taller than Gracie and weighs almost as much as she does! He also has huge paws. I have a feeling he might get BIG.

5 things.

2009-08-06T20:59:00.002-04:00

I have been pretty busy the last few days! I thought I would make a quick post and run tonight. Here is a run down of what has been going on lately!

1) We are picking up the puppy tomorrow! His official name is Jacoby, well unless he hates it but we love it. We are so excited. We brought Gracie to meet him last weekend but she wasn't really interested. She wasn't mean, just wanted to check out other things at the breeder's house. More updates on the new puppy to come!

2) I haven't heard anything about the job I interviewed for. I am not getting my hopes up because nothing in the job search has gone well for me, so I am just assuming I won't hear anything. Although, of course, I will be very glad if I do hear from them.

3) I did find the new graduate positions one of the hospitals in the capital city. They actually have a maternity new grad position! So, I found any connection I had to that hospital and also applied with my kick-ass cover letter. I am really hoping I hear from them. The only problem with this position is that the starting date is October 19. I would be unemployed from August 21st until then :(

4) Carrie-Ellen, my best college friend, called me this evening. She left me a voicemail about the puppy and asked me to call her back. When I did, she told me her boyfriend of 6 years proposed! I screamed! I am so unbelievably happy for them! I knew it would be sometime soon but I wasn't expecting that news when I called her back! His proposal was so cute too! I am hoping that in a few years I will have a cute proposal too!

5) I can't believe the summer is almost over... the weather has been horrible so it hasn't seemed like summer. I hope that the next few weeks are nice so I can have some sort of summer!

Pup

2009-07-31T13:20:00.002-04:00

Matt and I have talked about getting a puppy for a long time. I am allergic to most dogs so we needed a hypoallergenic dog or a mix of some sort. Matt loves Gracie but she is so little and he wants a bigger dog. We had been looking into goldendoodles, labradoodles, and boxerdoodles. We would have loved to adopt but there were never any of those dogs in shelters, or if they were, they had behavioral issues.

This past Sunday we just happened to be looking in the paper and there were three ads that caught our attention. 2 labradoodle ads and 1 goldendoodle ad. I searched their phone numbers and found that the woman who had the goldendoodle was only about 30 minutes away. So, I called her and learned that there were 2 puppies left, a male and a female. They were both black goldendoodles. They were almost 7 weeks at the time.

So, Matt and I jumped in the car and drove to see them... and of course we fell in love. We chose the male because we already have Gracie. He wasn't able to come home yet because he was still so little.

Tomorrow we are bringing Gracie to meet him and we will be able to pick him up next Friday! We both took the day off for the occasion! I found Gracie's old crate and set that up in my room. We bought him a food dish, a collar, a leash, food, toys, and treats. Gracie came to the pet store with us to help us pick out the stuff.

I am not sure how she is going to react. We set up all of his stuff in his crate and also put his food dish next to hers. She definitely knows something is going on and her ears perk up whenever we say "puppy." I have a feeling she will be very excited when he arrives but will get weirded out when he doesn't leave.

We'll just have to see how it goes... she is going to have to adapt.

Dream Job

2009-07-24T15:51:00.002-04:00

One of my closest friends from college called yesterday and told me she got her dream job in a NICU near her home. She had tons of experience for this position and it is absolutely perfect for her. I am very happy for her but also wicked jealous.

I found an L+D full time nights position at a nearby hospital and wrote a kick-ass cover letter. I am really excited about this job because this hospital has an amazing birth center and maternity section. It also has a NICU. This would be my perfect job, other than the nights part, but I would deal with that.

In other news, my license number has finally arrived! I am officially a registered nurse!

Design Star

2009-07-19T22:07:00.003-04:00

HGTV is my absolute favorite TV station. I could watch every show all day and be happy. Before I started nursing school (and during my panic attacks while in school and wanting to quit nursing) I had a list of things that I wanted to do instead. These included:
1) Wedding Planner
2) Interior Designer

To be honest, as the weeks go on and I can't find a nursing job, these two careers and beginning to look better and better.

I can't wait to have my own home and be able to design it the way I want to. I do know that this involves a lot of money. So, even though I am miserable at home, I think I need to tough it out and save as much money as I possibly can before I move out.

Speaking of moving out, even though we know that we need to save, but Matt and I have begun to talk to about moving in together. We honestly we do it now but the money situation is obviously a big deal.

Hopefully I can get a job sometime soon so that I can be saving more!

Easy Target

2009-07-15T21:57:00.003-04:00

I must be an easy target for things to go wrong because basically everything in my life sucks right now. The only thing that is going well is my relationship with Matt. He is absolutely my best friend and is basically the only constant right now.

Work isn't getting any better. Some of the people that I work with are quite mean to me and I have been ignoring their mean comments for the last 2 years. Tonight I began fighting back. I was mean right back. It still didn't work. Not only were they even mad at me now, I was mad at myself.

My weight is skyrocketing. I am out of control. Nothing fits. I feel disgusting. I am eating way too much and nothing that I am eating is nutritious at all. I brought home the "traveling tracker" from WW this week. I was hoping that it would inspire me to eat better but it isn't working. I am still not caring.

As for a real job, I still have nothing. I am still waiting for my nursing license number. The state's health practitioner's license website is under construction and it will be a few days before I get my actual number. I want this number to prove to the hospital that I have my license and now I am the perfect candidate for them to hire.

Then, home is pretty miserable too. I hate to say this but I can't stand my grandmother living with us. She is so much work and it is stressing my whole family out. I know that is so unbelievably selfish but things have changed so much that I can't handle it. Also, my dog is super depressed because she was raised being very social and going everywhere. I don't think she has gone for a ride in days. My mom hasn't gone out in a while either. She is stuck home watching my grandmother 24/7. She needs a lot of care and honestly its more than a 1 person job.

I need a break from everything right now. The problem is I just went on a very expensive vacation that wasn't relaxing at all. It actually stressed me out even more.

I just want things to get better :(

Caring less

2009-07-14T22:07:00.002-04:00

I had a bad day today. I used to absolutely love my job. It is generally easy, usually fun, and I have a great coworker whom I spend the whole day with. However, lately, I seem not be loving it as much.

When I was still studying, I used work as an excuse not to study, but then I would be thinking about studying all the time.

I have learned that I care too much. I guess that is a bad thing. I guess in this situation I came off as bossy. I understand this, but I honestly am just trying to help. A certain member of our staff who does not work in the office relies on me to get things done for her in the office. When I relay this information to the staff at the program, I am "bossy." Whatever, another one of our staff members told me to just stop caring and while that is hard for me, I tried it out today.

I know this doesn't make much sense to those other than myself, it is nice to vent sometimes. Even though my new career should involve caring a lot, my current job doesn't involve it at all. I am trying to keep this in mind.

Another reason I am not happy at work is because a few weeks ago I was grabbing a small slice of cake from a program that we were holding. (I know that I shouldn't be eating cake but I wanted it and had a decent lunch so I thought it would be okay.) As I was putting my cake onto a plate, a coworker comes up to me and says "That isn't good for your diet" in a very snarky tone. Then she tapped my love handles. It was completely rude and unnecessary. I was so shocked that someone would do that.

As if recently gaining 13 pounds doesn't make me feel bad enough, my b-tch of a coworker goes and says something like that. What kind of social skills are those? I teared up and my boss noticed. He did say something to her later but I also said something myself. I told her that that is the kind of thing you keep to yourself.

Anyway, I am miserable lately. I thought it would stop when I finished studying and passed the test but it hasn't decreased, the stressors have just changed.

Preliminary Results

2009-07-12T12:03:00.006-04:00

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!

I am a registered nurse!!!

I couldn't wait for it to be up on the state's website. I paid the $7.95 to get my results and it said PASS. YAYYYYYY. These are unofficial, as in just from the testing people, not from the state, so I don't have a license number yet. But, I WILL SOON!!!

75 questions

2009-07-10T12:21:00.003-04:00

I did it! I took the exam this morning! I was so anxious that I seriously thought I was going to vomit. I made it to the test center which was in the middle of nowhere. I was finger printed a few times and had my picture taken, then was allowed to start.

I noticed a classmate in the seat next to me when I walked in. The computers were in little cubicles so I don't think she saw me. I wore the little earplugs that they offered but I still heard some people shuffling around. They give you a little whiteboard to write on and at one point, I went to grab the marker and the cap went flying across the room. Haha, I hope they don't think I was crazy.

I made it through the exam in 75 questions. I had been keeping track of the number of questions I was sure on and it was about 35. Clearly not wonderful but I knew that I had made educated guesses on many of the questions. I do not remember making any flat out guesses on anything.

Along that topic, is it just me or do you immediately forget every question you just answered the second you walk out the door. I always do. I remembered a couple and when I got to my car, I was able to look up some things and learned that I had gotten a few that I was concerned about correct!

The computer shows you which question you are on so at question 74 I had to calm myself and after question 75 the test shut off! I felt so relieved.

So now I wait. The woman at the test center said I can get my results on Tuesday... TUESDAY? That is 4 days away! I was first told 48 hours (which would be Sunday) but they are closed Sunday but not Saturday. So wouldn't that be Monday? Then the woman said 2 business days. Well, if they are open on Saturday, isn't that a business day? Wouldn't that still be Monday?

I plan on compulsively checking the website between Saturday-Tuesday.

Now it is finally time to relax!!

Uncontrollable Anxiety

2009-07-09T20:30:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is test day. I have never felt so much anxiety in my whole life. I am exhausted, want to sleep, but have tons of practice questions left to do. I wish I had studied more but there is nothing I can do at this point.

I seem to have developed restless leg syndrome today. It must be from the nerves but holy annoying. I was supposed to relax today and not study, but because I was so behind, I've been studying all day.

I did take a break to get a facial at the spa this afternoon. Although, the whole time I was thinking about how I could be studying (or sleeping!) It was relaxing and I did almost fall asleep.

I just want it to be over with and have good results. I tried to keep my test day secret but a lot of people do know because I did tell my closest friends and also my co-workers obviously noticed that I have taken a few days off.

I want to take the test tomorrow and then fast forward to Monday when I get my results. I feel confident but am terrified at the same time. What if I fail??

I will try to blog tomorrow about the test.

Wish me luck!

5 more days

2009-07-05T19:14:00.003-04:00

I am going crazy studying for the NCLEX!

AHHHHHHHHH.

That is all...

Less than 1 week until the big day.

2009-07-04T11:48:00.002-04:00

NCLEX in T-6 days.

I have been studying my life away and am absolutely exhausted. I am behind in studying and technically need to work M-W next week but I might take 1 more day off. I do have a facial scheduled for Thursday though. That will definitely help me relax.

Yesterday, Matt and I went to visit his sister who flew up and I couldn't even enjoy myself because all I could think of was how that time could have been spent studying.

I feel relatively confident but am still super nervous. I just want to get it over with at this point! Matt is going to get me The Sims 3 so that when I get home from the test I can do something fun and not even think about the fact that I have to wait 48+ hours to get my results.

I don't know if I will be able to blog much this week because I really should spend every available moment studying.

But, something crazy happened at work on Thursday that I definitely need to vent about... when I get a chance.

The interview!

2009-07-02T10:20:00.002-04:00

I went to my interview on Monday! I was absolutely terrified all day. I sat at my desk at work and basically wrote myself a script of things to say. It actually helped a lot. I found all of the commonly asked questions and formulated my answers to them and then at the actual interview I remembered my answers and I think I sounded really put together.

There is 1 issue. Although I am qualified for the position, I don't have anything that makes me stand out compared to the other applicants (over 100!) The one thing that I do have, and honestly I think it is what got me the interview is that my mother was the nursing supervisor at this hospital for almost 20 years.

I never mentioned this fact to anyone. It isn't written on any of my applications or reference sheets. I never said anything because I didn't want it to affect me either way (good or bad.) However, when I got the call for the interview, I was at work so the human resources woman called my house and spoke to my mom. My mom told me later that the woman called her by name and definitely knew who she was speaking to.

Then, at the interview, the same human resources woman introduced me to the nurse managers as "Martine's daughter." My mom was these womens boss! Part of me wants it to help me out with getting a job but I also want them to know that I was not the one who was pushing this fact.

I will update whenever I find out anything! But, I do think that it went well. I am trying not to get my hopes up.

In other news, I wore horrible (but cute) shoes and now I have blisters on my toes :(

Interview!

2009-06-27T11:27:00.000-04:00

I have an interview on Monday!! I am so excited but very very nervous. This job isn't my first choice at all but it is a start I guess.

The major problem is that I now have no clothes. I have gained so much weight that nothing fits. So, I have to go shopping to invest in some interview clothes.

Wish me luck!

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T21:01:00.003-04:00

I am in shock about the loss of Michael Jackson today. He was an amazing artist and I loved dancing to his songs when I was a dancer. I wish I was still dancing regularly because he reminds me of all the good times I had dancing. I am devastated by his loss and he will always be a legend.

RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009.

5K Walk and an honest weight discussion.

2009-06-24T21:39:00.004-04:00

I just got home from walking a 5k with a bunch of friends from my weight watchers meeting. The idea started when WW began to promote walking as a great activity. So, we planned this walk and many members have been practicing weekly. The actual 5K walk wasn't hard, we talked and walked together and had a good time. We also all donated a weight of food that was equivalent to the amount of weight that we had lost. I donated 31lbs even though I am currently at 18.2.

Lets discuss... I'll be frank here, I joined WW in September of 2006 during my sophomore year of college. I weighed in at 148. This was not my highest weight ever, I believe at one point during high school I remember seeing 156. Both of these weights are way to much for me. I have a small frame and am only 5 feet tall.

I was very successful on the program at the beginning. I made my 10% (15 lbs) in 6 months and made my goal of 128 on June 16, 2007. No one enforced the maintenance program with me so during maintenance, I changed to the Core program and lost another 6 pounds. I made lifetime at 5 pounds below my goal.

Eventually I got down to 117.8 and felt AMAZING. This was approximately a BMI of 23 and it was honestly the best weight for me. I wanted to get to 115 but once I hit 117.8, I began going up.

I had been slowly gaining back weight, first going up to about 121 and hovering there for a while. Then, going up to 123, then to 125, then to 127. As of this past week, I weighed in around 130. I have gained 13 pounds... I feel absolutely disgusting and am miserable all of the time. I feel bad because I have been a bitch to so many people because I am so pissed off at myself.

Honestly, I am sabotaging myself. I eat junk and too much of everything. I seriously need to cut down and cut out a lot of things. I was so motivated and determined in the beginning and now I basically don't care.

Hopefully, something will trigger me to get my life together and get my weight back to where it needs to be. I have a feeling that things might get a little better once I have passed the NCLEX (17 days!) and my schedule will be more relaxed.

Here I am around the time I joined WW.

Here is a picture of me on my 21st birthday (2008) at my thinnest.

Studying Stress

2009-06-23T10:27:00.003-04:00

Let's talk about the NCLEX exam and the studying process. I'll admit I should have started studying sooner. I have this amazing review book by Mosby that is helping so much but I don't have much time to look at it! I honestly have spent more time looking at it during work than at home. I made a nice little schedule for myself and I am already 3 chapters and 300 questions behind.

I am so overwhelmed by the amount of studying that I have to do. I guess it is not really studying per say it is just reviewing so that the topics come back to the front of my mind. I remember almost everything I am reviewing which is good. I am also doing decently well on the questions. Every once in a while I get irritated at the way a question is written and get it wrong. However, I need to get used to that because that is how the board of examiners writes its questions.

I have been working every week day at WT and also Tuesday nights here too. I also have been working some Saturday mornings for Weight Watchers. I know I should not be working so much but I really could use the money, especially since I don't have a job come September. Anything I made this summer is it. It has to last me until I can find a nursing job.

About a job... I have applied to so many jobs and am basically desperate for something. I will take anything at this point. However, I know that I won't be happy in any thing other than L+D/OB. I know I should do a medical-surgical position for a while but it makes me nervous because it isn't what I want so I don't know much about it. I think I might enjoy something like a PACU because I have worked with c-section patients and also I have never worked with more than 2 patients at time. I am very organized and have good time management but that scares me! Also, I really want the support of a new-graduate nursing program. But, I know that most of those are already full.

So, the countdown is at 17 days. I am hoping that after that I can finally relax and possibly find a job because I most likely will have my license just like a few of my friends have already done!

P.S. Does anyone actually read this? I bet no one even does!

My Hawaiian Recommendations

2009-06-14T21:44:00.003-04:00

Here are the places that we loved on the Islands that if you ever go, you need to check out!

Maui:
Napili Surf Beach Resort We stayed here for 3 nights and loved it! We stayed in a room that didn't have an ocean view and our room was amazing. I am sure the ocean view condos were even better. It also was wonderful on the budget! Only $100 per night!
Longhi's An amazing restaurant that we ate breakfast on our first day. The best fresh squeezed orange juice that I have ever had! Also, the egg's benedict was to die for!
Kula Lodge Another amazing restaurant on the side of Haleakala. We had brick oven pizza that was so creative. The specials were so good, but the menu is very limited.
Maui Ocean Center A really fun aquarium with a 50+ foot underwater tube in the middle of an ocean exhibit!

Big Island:
The Kona Tiki Hotel An interesting hotel right on the ocean. Don't stay here if you need silence to sleep! However, the waves crashing right outside the window is a cool sound! They also have breakfast every morning and a great view of the ocean. We saw dolphins from our lanai!
Hilo Hawaiian Hotel A nice hotel right on the ocean. I had the special at their restaurant for dinner and it was only $6! We didn't have an ocean view room but it was HUGE.
Fairwind II This is a shameless promotion because we know the owners, but this 4+ hour boat ride was an amazing day. They brought us to an amazing snorkeling spot and fed us amazing food. They also have a hilarious videographer who gets in the water with you while you are snorkeling and then turns everything into a fun video for the ride home.

Kauai:
Hanalei Bay Resort This hotel was BEAUTIFUL. Our room was decorated so well and our bathroom vanity was made of mahogany! Amazing grounds and the sand bottom pool and hot tub were so much fun. However, neither the bar nor the restaurant were open. No one owns these places so we had to go out for every meal.
Tidepools A part of the Grand Hyatt Kauai, this restaurant had the best food I have ever had in my entire life. I will absolutely go back!
Captain Sundown Tours A family owned catamaran that takes only 15 people on board at a time. It is expensive but totally worth it to see those NaPili Cliffs!
Bubba's Burgers Similar to Five Guys Burgers and Fries (if you have ever had them.) This place is notorious for celebrities! Food is delicious and they had a funny slogan. " We cheat tourists, drunks, and attorneys"

Oahu:
Waikiki Circle Hotel A cute little hotel with amazing views! Our room was small but we spent so much time walking the strip that we didn't care. Plus it had air conditioning and a flat screen TV!

That is it! When we go back, we plan to visit/stay at all of these places!

Hawaii

2009-06-14T20:39:00.018-04:00

I have been avoiding writing this post for almost two weeks. I wanted to come back and rave about how great my trip was and how we had such a wonderful time...

Well, we didn't. I guess I didn't really consider the fact that my dad and I get on each others nerves. It started the morning we left for the trip at the airport when my luggage was overweight. (I knew I over packed but didn't think my suitcase would be over 50 pounds! Our trip was only 14 days!)

The flight was SO long. We left Connecticut at 6am and arrived in Maui at 7pm Hawaii time. That is 1 am CT time. We flew from CT to Atlanta, then to Seattle, then finally to Maui. We flew over the Rocky Mountains which was SO cool. I randomly glanced out the window and saw them in the distance and was so shocked. We were 30,000 feet up and could see them clearly. We took tons of pictures of it!

The trip was exhausting but we made it to our hotel, the Napili Surf Beach Resort, and got to sleep. Our hotel was cheap but so nice. We had our own kitchen and lanai, and the bathroom was so nice! The next day we checked out the beach at our hotel... which ended up being our only chance to see it.
We spent the day exploring Lahaina and Ka'anapali and went snorkling at some nature preserve. I cut my knee on one of the rocks (injury #1) but we saw some really cool fish. (I have an underwater camera that I haven't developed yet.)

The following day we drove up the road to the top of Mount Haleakala. It is over 10,000 feet at the top and the road has switchbacks, where you go one direction then turn completely around to go up the volcano. It took a long time because you have to go slow. Here is Matt showing off above the clouds.
We checked out the crater at the top of the volcano and watched the sun set at the top.

The next day we snorkeled and then drove the Road to Hana. This is a crazy winding road to this tiny town. It is 30+ miles long and takes HOURS. Here is a picture of us by one of the gulches on the road. At the end of the road we stopped at a black sand beach.
On our third day in Maui, we spent some time at the Maui Ocean Center (an aquarium) and then we went to see Iao's Needle. It is this randomly shaped part of the mountain. The ancient Hawaiians used to push their enemies off the top during battles. Here is a picture of us by Iao's needle.
After Iao's Needle, we went to the airport and flew to the Big Island (Hawaii.) We were not excited for this island because there isn't much that we wanted to do on this island. We also stayed in a hotel that had no TV, no phones, no AC, and had waves crashing on the rocks directly beneath our lanai. It was so loud that I had to sleep with ear plugs. We drove to the top of Mauna Kea (white mountain) on Saturday, it was cold up there (in the 40s!) and there was snow!! We got a tour of the telescopes and saw some amazing views. However, my dad wanted to stay up there for sunset after our tour ended at 3pm. I protested because I was feeling quite dizzy and the air was thin so I wasn't feeling well. Finally my dad and his girlfriend dealt with it and we drove down. They bitched and moaned about this throughout the entire trip, and while I felt bad that they weren't able to see the sunset up there, I didn't care because they had seen it last year. I know it is beautiful and all but come on! 4 hours of doing nothing when I am having trouble breathing? Unacceptable.

The next day was one of my favorite days on the trip. My dad lived in Hawaii in the late 1970s through the early 1980s. He was a photographer at many different places, including a boat called the Fairwind. Well, we met up with my dad's old friend Puhi (means fish in Hawaiian except he was born in California) and he brought us on his boat. We snorkeled, ate, tanned, and learned about fish. We bought a video from the adventure that was clips of us snorkeling along with video of the fish that have visited the boat. On Sunday, we drove to the end of the road on the North West side of the Big Island. It ends because the terrain is so difficult that they couldn't build a road. But, at the end of the road is a black sand beach. There is a path to get down there but a few years ago there was an earth quake and it destroyed the path, so we didn't go. Here is Matt showing you why...We went to Hilo, a town on the other side of the island for the next two days. This is where the throw-down happened. Matt and I got into a fight with my dad and his girlfriend because they were frustrated with us not wanting to do what they wanted to do, but we were fed up with just following along and not being allowed to go see things that we wanted to do. We were miserable for the next few days and seriously considered leaving my dad and his girlfriend behind and just doing things on our own. We didn't however, and even though we were still irritated, my dad pretended nothing had happened. This made our memories of the big island, nothing but bad. Also, I ended up with about 55 bug bites that made me even more miserable.

Kauai was the next island we visited and it was beautiful. Our hotel was amazing, Hanalei Bay Resort. It had AC, a sand bottom pool, a gorgeous private beach, and a king sized bed! We visited Waimea Canyon, which is the "grand canyon of the islands" But to be honest, it was a little boring. I mean it was nice and all but it all looked the same. And then, my dad wanted to hike... I don't hike. I barely even do "outside."

We spent the next day on a boat sailing by the Napili Cliffs. They were so cool to see. There are no roads out there but there are hiking trails... again, I don't hike. But seeing it by boat made it even better. We then went snorkeling off the boat and actually saw a white tipped reef shark. I saw it first and took a picture but quickly turned around and swam away. It wasn't coming near us, it was about 20 feet below, but it was still terrifying! After we were done snorkeling, we sailed back, and saw bottle nose dolphins! I ran to get my camera but in the process stubbed my toe so bad that I heard a crack and honestly thought I broke it. I cried and didn't get a picture of the dolphins. I could barely walk and slowly over the next few days it turned black and blue and still hurt horribly. I tolerated it though.

When we got back from snorkeling, we showered and got ready to go to this amazing restaurant called Tidepools. I limped all the way into the restaurant but hoped that no one noticed. We ordered some amazing food. I had a macadamian nut crusted mahi mahi stuffed with crab meat and served with mashed potatoes and veggies. Matt had a filet and it was also amazing. Our bill was outrageous but it was so worth it, the food was to die for.

We spent the next few days limping around the island and checking out all of the sights. We found tons of fun souviners on this island, including a beautiful painting of the Hanalei Pier by a man who is paralyzed from the neck down... he paints with a paintbrush held in his mouth. We also discovered Shave Ice, it is everywhere on this island and I think we had it 3 times in 4 days. YUM.

We then flew from Kauai to Oahu... our last island. When we arrived, we were in shock, it was just what we imagined. Waikiki beach!!!! It was gorgeous and had every designer shop you could think of along the street. We stayed at the Waikiki Circle hotel on the 11th floor overlooking the ocean. It was amazing and we were upset that we only got 1 full day here. We could have spent the whole time there and had a wonderful time.
We got to go Pearl Harbor and visit the USS Arizona memorial. It was beautifully done and was shocking to see the ship just a few feet below the water. It is sad that there were over 1000 people killed on that ship and most bodies never were recovered. Also, it was interesting to learn that those who did survive have the option of being cremated and brought back to the ship to join their fallen comrades. Here we are with an aircraft carrier and the USS Arizona memorial in the background.
Overall, it was a decent time, but my dad stressed me out beyond belief and caused me to not enjoy the trip as much as I should have. However, the time that Matt and I spent together was priceless and I can't even express how much I love him! He is my best friend and we have had so many adventures and this was just another one to add to our memories. We even talked about going back again!

That is all for now... even though I am sure it was unbelievably long!

Happy Birthday

2009-06-07T11:54:00.002-04:00

To me!

Today I turn 22! No more exciting birthdays for a while, I've already hit16, 18, and 21.

I have been home from Hawaii for a few days and I will blog about that later... it was an interesting trip...

Hawaii

2009-05-18T17:56:00.002-04:00

The day has finally arrived! We are leaving for Hawaii in exactly 12 hours! I will update whenever/if I can!

Leaving

2009-05-15T15:33:00.002-04:00

I stayed at UConn for the last 4 days to go to an NCLEX review class and it was actually really helpful and calmed my fears... at least for a little while. I stayed in my old apartment and actually slept in Amanda's bed (she was home) instead of the couch! It was so much better!

Leaving the class today was hard. I was fine at graduation but I knew that this would be harder. I cried... figures. It is so weird knowing that I won't see so many of those people ever again. I made some great friends here and I really hope I can keep contact with them... Oh the beauty of Facebook!

So, now I am currently waiting for Amanda to arrive so that I can help her move out and give her back the keys to the apartment. Luckily, Amanda doesn't live TOO far and we will definitely make plans to see each other. Plus, neither of us have jobs so we have plenty of time!

Officially a graduate nurse.

2009-05-12T19:38:00.005-04:00

The big day has come and gone! I graduated from the University of Connecticut with a bachelor's degree in nursing! I sat there during the ceremony in complete disbelief about what was actually happening.

I stuffed tissues into my dress before the ceremony because I thought I was going to cry. I did well and didn't end up needing them. I did slightly tear up when our class president spoke and said "This is it! We did it! Congrats Class of 2009!" And again when we moved our tassels from the right to the left. However, I cried a lot in the week before graduation because I was so sad that my grandpa never was able to see me graduate. He was such a supporter and died suddenly in February. Here is a cute picture of me and him from a LONG time ago...
He was such an amazing person and I miss him so much. I am still in shock that he died. He was recovering from surgery in a nursing home and then on a Saturday he came down with the flu along with everyone else in the nursing home (and my dad, cousin, and a few uncles who had just visited) He died on Monday only about 10 minutes after my uncle left him. It was unbelievable devastating and I am actually feeling tears coming on now. He had a wonderful service and I was a pallbearer. He was buried next to my dad's mother (who died before I was born) in the veteran section of our cemetery.

Anyway, on a lighter note, nine other members of my friends and family were able to come to my graduation. It was a lot of fun and even though the keynote speaker spoke about tapestries and parallels to nursing for 45 minutes, it was a great ceremony. I was very anxious about walking across the stage and my heart was racing the whole time! I talked to the guy sitting next to me and he was feeling the exact same thing. Afterwards, other people told me they felt it too! It was a universal anxiety. Here is me coming down off the stage after getting my (empty) diploma case.I was so scared I was going to fall in front of everyone! My favorite part of the whole ceremony was our class president speaking. She briefly described each of our four years at school and it was quite funny! Lots of memories! I am going to miss it so much!!
Here I am after it was all over!
And to sum up the whole college experience, and just because I LOVED my dress, here is a picture of me in my graduation dress by a rock on campus that is constantly being painted...

Graduation Day

2009-05-10T08:22:00.002-04:00

After four amazing years of college, I am graduating today with a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. This is really bittersweet!

Chrissy

2009-05-06T23:57:00.003-04:00

Just a quick note...

A friend of mine from high school was killed in a car crash today. She lost control of her car and hit an oncoming car. She was gone before she arrived at the hospital. We were very good friends in school. I haven't spoken to her in a few years though.

I am in shock, and what is even worse is that because of graduation and other school activities, I am not sure if I will be able to attend the services.

So... RIP Chrissy R.

Pinning

2009-05-02T12:36:00.011-04:00

This past Wednesday was the pinning ceremony for my nursing class. We get our pins to welcome us to the profession and they also show what school we graduated from. It was an exciting experience and a sad one at the same time. I can't believe that I am actually about to graduate from college. I hate when people say that the years will fly by but oh my... I feel like it was just yesterday that I first met my roommate and we moved into our freshman year dorm. Here is a picture of us in our dorm room: And here is a picture of us from after the pinning ceremony: Look how much we have changed! We were so young and I can't believe all the different things that we have experienced since then. My roommate is such an amazing person and has done so many interesting things in the last four years such as going to South Africa and Honduras along with training for an Iron Man and writing a thesis ;) I am going to miss her!! Luckily, we don't live that far away from each other.

Here is another picture from freshman year. It is from move out day but it is a group picture of my closest friends with our CA and those girls are still my closest friends today!

Here we are together at the Pinning Ceremony:

I guess that is all for now, I am feeling very nostalgic and am going to be a wreck at graduation. I don't know what I am going to do without these girls in my life almost every day!

Now it is time to study for finals...

Spring Weekend

2009-04-23T21:28:00.002-04:00

I lived on campus for seven semesters and after the initial homesickness, I absolutely loved it... minus one mean roommate. During my 7th semester I signed up for my last classes as an undergraduate and they were all on Fridays. Then, I found out that I would be at a clinical location that was 20 minutes from home. After finding out these two things, I made the big decision to move home for my last semester. I really miss living on campus and miss my roommates a lot but I am saving SO much money.

However, I have the best (old) roommates who let me sleep on their couch all the time. Today I attended a nursing research conference and since I have class first thing in the morning, I am staying here.

A tradition here on campus is a little thing we call Spring Weekend. It is a huge party on and off campus during one weekend in April. Each night is spent at a different location on or around campus. I have been out to the different parties each year and last year I even was a part of the "Alcohol Safety Team." We were a group of nursing students who stayed in the dorms and helped out the students by getting them safely into their rooms and in safe positions for passing out/sleeping.

Well, tonight was the official start of Spring Weekend 2009 and I am already in bed. My old roommates and I went to one of the on campus bars and hung out. I didn't drink at all but I felt like being social. After I left, they made the long walk to the off campus apartments to hang out with more friends. I was way to cold to do that and since I have to be up early in the morning, I came back here. This apartment building is SO loud right now though, who knows how long it will take me to fall asleep.

Job search

2009-04-22T10:33:00.006-04:00

I wrote in my profile that I am already a nurse. That is not quite true. I am still technically a student for 18 more days. Then, I will be a graduate nurse, and eventually, will take the NCLEX exam and be an RN.

However, this soon to be RN does not have a job and will be working at a recreation facility in the main office. Now, this is the job that I have had for 2 years and absolutely love, but I can't believe that I will be working there again after I graduate from college. No one believes me when I say that I can't find a job as an RN or a graduate nurse. Well, it is true. I have applied to 15 hospitals and over 25 positions. I have had no interest so far. I am not the only one though, which makes me feel a little bit better. Out of our graduating class of about 120, I only know of maybe 20 people who have jobs lined up. The rest of us are still trying to find something to do.

So, the plan is to keep looking and hope that someone will find me interesting and at least call me in for an interview. I have a feeling that it might get better once I pass the NCLEX in July. I think that the hospitals won't be as worried about us not passing and wasting their time on us. I am just scared about what will happen if I pass the NCLEX and can't find anything by August. The recreation facility is a non-profit and they can't afford to keep me on after the summer season.

Somewhat related... I can't believe that I am graduating from UConn in 18 days. It has gone by so fast. I remember crying so hard the night before I moved in for freshman year, I was scared and didn't want to leave home. Now, I know I am going to cry when I have to leave! I had some rough times, but also some of the best times of my life and made the best friends who I know I will stay in contact with for a long long time.

Monday was my last day of my last clinical rotation. I had been working in a maternal-fetal ICU, which also housed the labor and delivery unit. I had some amazing experiences and everything I learned was so invaluable. I will eventually tell some great stories about things that I saw (while not violating HIPAA!) I know that I will most likely not find a job in maternal-fetal nursing at first, but that is my absolute goal. I also eventually would love to go back to school and become a certified nurse midwife and possibly a lactation consultant.

I have a lot to work on if I want to achieve all of these goals!