Easy Target

I must be an easy target for things to go wrong because basically everything in my life sucks right now. The only thing that is going well is my relationship with Matt. He is absolutely my best friend and is basically the only constant right now.

Work isn't getting any better. Some of the people that I work with are quite mean to me and I have been ignoring their mean comments for the last 2 years. Tonight I began fighting back. I was mean right back. It still didn't work. Not only were they even mad at me now, I was mad at myself.

My weight is skyrocketing. I am out of control. Nothing fits. I feel disgusting. I am eating way too much and nothing that I am eating is nutritious at all. I brought home the "traveling tracker" from WW this week. I was hoping that it would inspire me to eat better but it isn't working. I am still not caring.

As for a real job, I still have nothing. I am still waiting for my nursing license number. The state's health practitioner's license website is under construction and it will be a few days before I get my actual number. I want this number to prove to the hospital that I have my license and now I am the perfect candidate for them to hire.

Then, home is pretty miserable too. I hate to say this but I can't stand my grandmother living with us. She is so much work and it is stressing my whole family out. I know that is so unbelievably selfish but things have changed so much that I can't handle it. Also, my dog is super depressed because she was raised being very social and going everywhere. I don't think she has gone for a ride in days. My mom hasn't gone out in a while either. She is stuck home watching my grandmother 24/7. She needs a lot of care and honestly its more than a 1 person job.

I need a break from everything right now. The problem is I just went on a very expensive vacation that wasn't relaxing at all. It actually stressed me out even more.

I just want things to get better :(