Awkward.

Don't you hate running into people? Especially people that you don't want to run into? Like old friends from high school or college, or friends of friends whose names you remember but they don't remember yours?

Then, the worst part is when they ask "how are you??" and you always answer "I'm good!" when you obviously aren't but don't want them to know that. And you pretend that you are happy to see them and are interested in what is going on in their lives. And then, you know that they go home and on Facebook to see what you are actually up to?

This is one of my worst fears lately. Especially since graduating, because people know I graduated, and will know by looking on Facebook that I don't have a job or anything else relatively good going on in my life right now.

I actually hide from people if I see them in stores or in restaurants. I remember being in the grocery store and seeing someone from high school and ducking into another aisle to hide from her. With my luck though, she ended up seeing us a few aisles later and we had to make awkward small talk.

I honestly don't know the purpose of this post other than the fact that Matt and I are going to the Big E tomorrow and I most likely will see someone that I know.

15 weeks old

Jacoby is 15 weeks old already! We went to the vet on Wednesday and he weighed in at 31 pounds. I once lost that much weight, and he is freaking heavy, so I guess I should be proud of the weight I had lost.

Anyway, Jacoby is doing really well. He is 99% housebroken, and I only say 99% because if I said 100% he would have an accident. It has been about 2 weeks since he last had an accident. He sleeps completely though the night in his crate. However, he is getting too big for his crate. This evening, Matt and I bid on a soft crate on ebay and we won! So, Jacoby will be getting a new bedroom within the next week.

He plays really hard with my other dog. It makes me worried some times and I wish they would play nice. Someday...

He started puppy kindergarten last week and honestly, I think he will be the star pupil. He is so smart. In his class there is: a teeny tiny yorkie, a shitzu, two terrier mixes, and a boxer mix who is obnoxious.

That is all about him. I think he is going to grow into a huge, lazy, lovable, beast of a dog who I will love forever :)

What if they don't call?

The start date for the new graduate orientation at the hospital where my only hope for a job is at is October 19. So, the hospital doesn't have much time to let me know either way. I am absolutely terrified of the phone call if they do call, and even more worried about the waiting and waiting for a phone call that might not arrive.

I have no clue what I am going to do if they don't hire me. I have no other options. None of the other hospitals are hiring new grads until next summer. Then, there will be a whole new batch of new grads who are also looking for jobs. Why would any hospital chose me, someone who hasn't done anything related to nursing for over 1 year, vs a brand new graduate who still has nursing knowledge readily available in their brain.

Why does nothing work out in my favor? I should have been flooded with job offers and should have been done with orientation by this time. Why am I the one who can't find a job? I feel like I wasted four years of my life. If I don't get this job, I have no idea what I am going to do.

Boston

In better news, I went to Boston this weekend to visit a friend from high school who recently got a job there. She lives by the Brigham Circle stop on the green line. It is such a beautiful area. I want to move there...

We had a blast just catching up and visiting with other friends. Surprisingly, I didn't buy anything other than food. I only spent money on the essentials which is good considering I have very little money.
Here is a picture of us before we went out to dinner.

Misery.

Again it has been a while. I always think about things I want to write about but never get to it. Which doesn't make much sense because I have nothing else to do. Seriously...

According to the title of this post, I am absolutely miserable. Nothing is going right for me. I hate complaining but WTH. Why can't I get things to work out for me? Everyone says "your time will come." I absolutely hate that. Its not fair for someone to have everything that I want, while I have nothing.

I haven't heard anything from the job shadowing I did. I know I have a few more weeks but I am doubtful that anything will come of it. And, if nothing does, I honestly have no other options. I probably will never get a nursing job. People keep saying "you will get one eventually..." But no, that is not true. All of the hospitals are done hiring new graduates and won't hire any more until next summer. So, then its me competing with people who just graduated and have relatively recent information in their heads, while I have been sitting around working at Weight Watchers all year. (Side note: I love working for WW its just not going to be my lifelong career.)

I just want something good to happen for me, whether it be a job, or Jacoby actually being a good dog for once, or finding a place to live. I just want to be happy.

Skittles

10 years ago, Matt's sister adopted a ring neck parakeet, Skittles. Stacy moved to college 7 years ago and never came back and the bird stayed at his parents house. They had no idea how old the bird was when they got her.

I always called her an evil bird, one time she even drew blood from me while I was trying to fill her food dish. She squawked so loud all of the time.

She had been acting strange for the last few weeks and was very sick for the last few days. Matt just called and told me that Skittles died...


I can't say I won't miss her. It will definitely be different without her. Our worry now is Matt's bird, Spike. They have been together forever. Spike doesn't know life without her.


RIP Skittles.

Wet dog

It has been quite a while! I can't say that I have been that busy, because I really am not doing much. However, the Tuesday after I last wrote, I got a call from the hospital to set up an second interview.

That interview occurred on Thursday and I met with the director of the whole maternity area, the L+D manager, and the educator for all of the units. I felt wonderful about the interview and after the interview, we set up a shadowing opportunity which I went to today!

I spent the morning and early afternoon with one of the nurses on the postpartum floor at the hospital and just watched all that she did. I enjoyed every minute and was able to talk to the educator before I left and told her what a great experience it was, and that I would be honored to work there. She sounded enthusiastic so I am keeping my hopes up.

The other good part of today was that I got to wear one of my new sets of scrubs! They were so comfy! I can't wait to have a job so I can wear the others, and also go buy more!

In puppy news, we went to the vet right after my last post. Jacoby weighed 20.7 pounds! So, I was almost exactly right! He did so well with the shots and with the vet checking him out. He did have one hilarious moment where he started barking at a photo on the wall of a golden retriever. Even the vet laughed at him.

That was about a week and a half ago and I am pretty sure he now weighs 24 pounds. He is getting really heavy and it is becoming hard to hold him while I step on the scale. We are going to the vet again on Thursday for 1 more shot and I will weigh him then.

A funny pup story: Yesterday Matt and I went up to my dad's house on the lake. Jacoby went over to the water and actually fell in! It sounds horrible but it was absolutely hysterical. He knew immediately how to swim and got himself out. Matt picked him up a few times and put him out in the deeper water and each time he swam back in.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~Ambrose Bierce