What if they don't call?

The start date for the new graduate orientation at the hospital where my only hope for a job is at is October 19. So, the hospital doesn't have much time to let me know either way. I am absolutely terrified of the phone call if they do call, and even more worried about the waiting and waiting for a phone call that might not arrive.

I have no clue what I am going to do if they don't hire me. I have no other options. None of the other hospitals are hiring new grads until next summer. Then, there will be a whole new batch of new grads who are also looking for jobs. Why would any hospital chose me, someone who hasn't done anything related to nursing for over 1 year, vs a brand new graduate who still has nursing knowledge readily available in their brain.

Why does nothing work out in my favor? I should have been flooded with job offers and should have been done with orientation by this time. Why am I the one who can't find a job? I feel like I wasted four years of my life. If I don't get this job, I have no idea what I am going to do.